A Princely Memory
by Roni Black
Summary: ONE SHOT. Severus takes Felix Felicis and gets, at last, a very happy memory. Severus/Lily. DH spoilers.


**A/N:** Hi all! I have been trying to write a story ever since Book 7 came out, but I was so out of inspiration, since this book was so amazingly good...

I have especially been trying to write a Severus/Lily fic – as it is my favorite ship now as well as Draco/Hermione, my usual expertise – but it was really hard. Then at last I was inspired, and here it is.

This story takes place somewhere around the end of Severus and Lily's sixth year, approximately a year after Snape's Worst Memory.

Review? I'd love to hear anything you have to say!

Just a note: I'm aware of the fact that this memory could NOT be real because it would have definitely appeared in the original Prince's Tale, so you may call it a slight AU as it obvoiously contradicts some facts about Snape never being close to getting what he wanted. God, I just love Severus so much now, don't you?

---

**A Princely Memory**

Seventeen-year-old Severus Snape was staring at a miniscule bottle of golden liquid resting in his hand. He wasn't sure he wanted to do this. No, that wasn't true: he _longed_ to do this, he was _desperate_ to do this, but... was it the right thing to do... for her?

He had won this bottle fair and square. No one could say he hadn't. Mulciber had received two tiny bottles by owl post – his father was an extraordinary potion-brewer – and Mulciber was planning to keep them both. But then he had a better idea.

"You get me all I need to brew a Polyjuice Potion, and I'll give you one of the bottles," he told Severus.

"What do you want to brew a Polyjuice Potion for?" Severus asked suspiciously.

"None o' your bloody business," Mulciber snarled. "You want this potion or not?"

Severus stared at the bottle. It was such a silly question – who wouldn't want liquid luck? His spirit rose at the thoughts of all the things it might help him do: get a good revenge on James Potter, perhaps, and get top marks at Herbology – he hated Herbology – and Lily... what about Lily? His heart lifted with sudden hope... Could this be the answer? Maybe one lucky day was all that he needed to set things right between them, get her to talk to him again, to forgive him... maybe even... he didn't dare to think about it, it was too good to be possible, but then again, this _was _the thing to get you lucky... Maybe just lucky enough get the thing he had been longing to for so long?... Goodness knew he needed this bottle; he had never had any reason to consider himself a particularly 'lucky' person. Truth to be told, he was quite the opposite.

"I do," he said, trying not to look too eager.

"Right then," said Mulciber. "You brew me a Polyjuice Potion, and you'll get one of these in reward."

Severus narrowed his eyes darkly. "_Brew_ you the potion? You didn't say that before."

"Well, I'm saying it now," said Mulciber sharply. "You're the master in Potions, aren't you? Old Slughorn does love you almost as much as he loves Evans. Surely you can brew a Polyjuice Potion."

Severus raked his brains. "It will take a while, you know," he said. "It takes about a month to brew a Polyjuice Potion, and I have to get all the ingredients first, too..."

But Mulciber simply played with the tiny bottles in his hand, allowing the golden liquid that filled them to glow in the sun. Severus's eyes, however, were not focused on the bottles; they had trailed to the far end of the Great Hall, where Lily Evans was sitting at the Gryffindor table with her back facing him. Her dark red hair was glowing in the sun as well, and to Severus's hungry eyes this sight was a thousand times more tantalizing than a bottle of luck.

Severus sighed deeply. "I'll do it."

A smirk spread over Mulciber's face. "Good," he said shortly. "I'll be waiting."

---

Stealing the ingredients from Slughorn's stores was quite easy. The next time Slughorn held a Slug-Club supper, Severus – who had never been invited to a Slug-Club event by Slughorn himself, although Lily had sometimes invited him to accompany her to the parties – snuck into Slughorn's stores and stole shredded skin of Boomslang and powdered bicorn horn. Other ingredients were easily found in the student store cupboard.

Brewing the potion was quite easy as well. Mulciber had warned Rosier, Wilkes and Avery, who shared their dorms, that Snape was brewing a potion for him and they'd better hold their tongues – none of them cared. Severus simply set up a corner to place the cauldron and let the lacewings stew.

During the meals, Severus felt more restless than ever, as his eyes made the usual trail over to the Gryffindor table to pause on the red hair. _Soon,_ he told himself. _Soon... A chance... At last, a chance..._ And every time he saw Lily walking down the halls, talking to her friends or laughing loudly at someone's joke, and felt the usual pang of jealousy, he tried to soothe himself. _Soon, I'll have a chance to do something... get closer..._

"How long will it take?" Mulciber barked after nearly three weeks. "You said it would take a month and I need it already! All I saw you do so far was sit and stare at a nearly-empty cauldron with a small fire under it!"

"The lacewings need to be stewed for twenty-one days exactly," said Severus calmly, knowing Mulciber didn't have the foggiest idea what he was talking about, "and then I'll be able to add the other ingredients; I've got them all ready. It will be ready next week, I promise you that."

"You'd better keep your promise," said Mulciber nastily, "or I might change my mind about who I'm giving my Felix to!"

He drew out the small bottle and waved it menacingly in front of Severus's face. Severus was not impressed; he knew Mulciber was only trying to pressure him, and he knew the Polyjuice would be ready soon; but seeing the small golden bottle and thinking of all the possibilities it held made him want to snatch it from Mulciber's hands. He controlled himself, though, and merely smiled coldly. "It will be ready in a week." And then, he thought, maybe he, the unluckiest student at Hogwarts, would finally get his wish, if only for one day.

---

The Polyjuice Potion was ready exactly one week later. Severus called Mulciber into the room and Mulciber came at once. Severus summoned a glass and filled it for him. Mulciber quickly drew out a small hair from his pocket and dropped it in the glass. The potion hissed and turned an radiant shade of green.

Mulciber drank it. Severus watched, expressionless, as he fell to his knees and twitched in pain; after a minute or so he got to his feet again – only he was now identical to Horace Slughorn.

Severus blinked.

"And why, may I ask, was it so important to turn into our beloved teacher?" he asked sarcastically.

"He's got a thing going with Aurora Sinistra," said Mulciber in Slughorn's voice. "He's having another Slug-Club party tonight, so he'll be out of the way; I'm going to find out what Aurora kisses like tonight."

Severus had to stuff his fist in his mouth to avoid laughing. Everyone knew Mulciber had a crush on the Astronomy teacher, who was young and very pretty, but Severus had never assumed Mulciber actually believed he had a chance with her; and he had definitely never imagined he would go that far to get her. And besides, the idea of Slughorn having an affair with Professor Sinistra was ludicrous, and Severus knew the last thing Mulciber would find out tonight was 'what Aurora kisses like'.

It was none of his business, though. He had done his part; the bottle was his. "I believe there is something you owe me, then," he said.

"Oh, yeah..." Mulciber hurried to his trunk and pulled out the miniscule bottle. "There you go. Well, I'm off."

"One hour, don't forget," Severus warned him. "Get away before it's over and come back here to change again, or you're bound to be expelled."

"Don' worry."

Mulciber loped out of the room as fast as he could on Slughorn's short legs. Only after the door was closed behind him did Severus allow himself to snort loudly. The whole thing was ridiculous and he knew Mulciber would soon be back, blaming the entire world for his failure.

_Now..._ Severus's eyes paused on the bottle in his hands. It was his at last; pure, liquid luck, enough to last 12 hours. The only question now was – _when?_

And, of course... what will he do once he drinks it?

And only now did doubts rise in him.

His brilliant plan did not seem so brilliant, all of a sudden; it might have even been foolish and reckless. _She trusted you and you called her a Mudblood. You made friends with Mulciber, you made it clear you wanted to be a Death Eater and kill people of her ancestry. There is no way she is ever going to forgive you, she has made herself perfetcly clear on that. She wants nothing to do with you anymore. What makes you think a tiny portion of luck will make her forgive you? What makes you think it will make her want to be friends with you again? And for heaven's sake, what made you imagine she would fall in love with you just because you're lucky?!_

Severus buried his face in his hands; his shoulders rose and sagged in painful breathing. Even Felix Felicis was worthless. There was no way Lily would ever fall in love with him. Hell, there was no way she would even talk to him again. He had ruined it, ruined it forever with his own hands. And all the Felix Felicis in the world couldn't change the fact that Lily Evans would always and forever despise the Dark Arts.

His worst fears would become a reality and he knew it. It was over three months that he hadn't seen Lily and James Potter fighting. They had _always_ been fighting before; now nothing. Potter didn't taunt Lily and Lily didn't make nasty remarks when he spoke; Severus had even seen them smiling at each other, Lily rather shyly. He knew they were not dating. They were not even friends, not officialy, anyway. He would have known if they _had_ been anything; _nothing_ ever remained a secret at Hogwarts. But with every day passing he knew more and more clearly: Potter had been in love with Lily for six years, and Lily would soon begin to return his feelings.

And this thought was more than Severus could take.

But as much as it stabbed his heart to imagine Lily dating Potter, kissing him in public, walking hand-in-hand with him and God knows what else – Severus knew Lily well enough to realize that this was what she wanted, deep down, only she was not yet able to see it herself. It would happen, sooner or later, and he would just have to brace himself and watch the girl he loved so desperately and the boy he had hated for six years start dating. This was what Lily wanted and there was nothing he could do to change that.

It had been pointless; this effort of the last month had been nothing more than a waste of time. Lily would never talk to _him_, never lay an eye on _him_, never see _him_ differently and Felix Felicis COULD NOT CHANGE THAT.

Unless...

_Unless..._

And then a plan formed in Severus's mind and brought a smile to his thin lips; he quickly brought the bottle to his mouth and took a tiny sip – he then looked at the bottle again. He had drank about a third of it. Four hours of luck.

Then a wonderful feeling spread inside him, completely opposite to the feelings of despair and pain he had been filled with a mere moment ago. It was an exhilarating sense; he knew what he could do... and he knew exactly how to do it, too...

He got up and went out to the common room, then to the hall of the dungeon. It was after ten thirty and he knew sixth-years were forbidden to be out of their common rooms now, but tonight he knew nobody would catch him, and he was not afraid. He slowly went up the stairs to Slughorn's office and hid in the shadows in one of the corners, waiting for the supper to end.

The door flew open a mere minute later and students came pouring out, talking and laughing very loudly for some reason. Severus waited; Felix told him that Lily would be the last to exit, exactly as he had hoped.

"Good night, Professor Slughorn!" Lily yelled as she finally came out, laughing and wiping her mouth, obviously having drunk some beverage a moment earlier. Severus knew he could take his time; Lily did not seem in a hurry at all, lingering around and leaning to look out a window as Slughorn closed and locked his door. Severus knew Slughorn wouldn't open his door again tonight.

Lily was drunk. He knew it. He had been lucky – she had drunk too much firewhiskey at the party. Not quite intoxicated to pass out, but intoxicated enough so she would hardly remember any of what was about to happen – it would be nothing but a fade, foggy memory in her mind.

Lily was leaning on the windowsill, her long hair falling around her and on her back, her wide, green eyes staring dreamily outside. In Severus's eyes there could be no sight more beautiful than this one. Elated at her beauty, he slowly stepped out of the shadows, exactly when it occurred to him it was the right moment to.

"Lily," he said softly.

Normally, he knew, she would jump out of her skin. Tonight, however, she only turned her face to him in surprise.

"Severus!" she said. Her voice was not full of the anger or revulsion he had feared; only surprise and, perhaps, slight remoteness. "What are you doing here?"

"I was waiting," he said. "Waiting for you."

"You have? Why?"

"I wanted to see you. You know I've been wanting to talk to you in a long time."

She stared down at the floor. "Severus, I really don't think we have anything to talk about."

But Felix told Severus he was not to give up; she did not mean these words. "I know we can't be friends anymore, I know you don't want to have any connection with me, but please, I just want to hear you say that you forgive me for what I said last year."

Her eyes widened in shock, then she sighed. "Sev – "

"Lily," he said, taking a step closer, "I know we can't go back to being best friends. I know we can't. But only tonight, talk to me. Let me talk to you. I know you want to talk to me."

She looked up at him, her green eyes glistening in the moonlight. "You've really hurt my feelings last year, Sev," she finally said. "I – I was so hurt when you called me... a _Mudblood_."

"I know," he whispered. He sat down on the windowsill, and as she made no step to follow him, he tugged her to sit next to him. Touching her hand was heavenly, and Severus suddenly felt warm all over.

"You have no idea how much I've been torturing myself about that," he whispered. "I couldn't forgive myself for calling you... that. I promise you, I have never thought of you as anything but my best friend and – and – "

"And what?" she asked, still looking up at him.

He paused. _Not yet,_ he told himself and Felix Felicis agreed. _Not yet._ "I want you to forgive me."

"It's not that – that simple, Sev," she murmured, yawning. "I have been so angry with you all year – "

"I know," he cut her off, "but for the sake of what we had – I know it was precious to you – you held our friendship close to your heart, didn't you? So for the sake of your best childhood friend, that you cared for, that was important to you, forgive me."

And these words had an effect: Lily slowly nodded.

"I forgive you then, Sev," she said. "You're right, we cannot ever be friends again – you're so into the Dark Arts, Sev, _why_?" She looked in his eyes for an answer, but as he merely bowed his head, she went on: "I can't understand why you're doing all the things that you're doing, but I will forgive you for what you said, because you – you really were my best friend all through my childhood, and I have to remember that too."

_If only she could remember saying that,_ Severus thought bitterly, but then he reassured himself – as his job was not yet finished.

Lily seemed extremely tired. She yawned again. "Sev – I – perhaps I should go up to bed."

"No," he whispered. "Tonight, you're still my friend. Come here."

And he pulled her to lay her head on his shoulder.

"Sev," said Lily, her eyes closed, "this feels weird."

"Does it?" he murmured, feeling himself no less intoxicated than she was, breathing in the amazing smell of her hair, closing his eyes as well as he felt her head on his shoulder and her side pressed against his. He knew she was foggy and allowed himself to lay his head on hers, fully breathing in the smell of her hair now.

"I mean," said Lily, her voice husky, "because we're suddenly friends again..."

"Only for tonight," Severus whispered as he brushed his fingers through her hair. _God._ It was soft and silky between his fingers; his whole body was on fire. Her hair was every bit as amazing to touch as he had dreamed it to be; he could touch it forever.

"You never used to do that," Lily said, sounding distantly surprised, as though not sure why this was not bothering her.

"Only for tonight," Severus repeated as he allowed himself to continue. For a long time, the two of them sat like this on the windowsill; Lily dozing off on his shoulder, his hand playing with her hair; it was nearly twenty minutes before Felix told Severus it was, at last, time.

He leaned it and softly whispered in Lily's ear: "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," she murmured, her eyes still closed.

"Have you ever been kissed?"

Lily opened her eyes. Had she been sober, Severus knew, she would jump and demand to know why he was asking that. But tonight she was drunk, and she only said faintly: "Huh?"

"Have you ever been kissed?" Severus repeated, his heart thumping in his chest.

Lily gazed at him for a long moment. She seemed to struggle with herself, but then give up, as she was too exhausted. "No," she said quietly.

"Well," said Severus, "since we're on 'only for tonight' terms, and everything..."

Lily sat up straight and looked at him. Severus would have taken it as a bad sign, had Felix not told him it was all right. _Wait... wait..._

Then very slowly, she closed her eyes, and this time not to doze off; and extremely slowly, with his heart beating in his chest so hard he was sure that either she could hear it or Felix had made her go deaf, Severus leaned in.

He paused for a moment mere inches from her face, drinking in her beautiful features and how they looked from so close: closer than he had ever been to her, and closer than her would ever be again. And then, at long last, he closed his eyes too and kissed her.

A bomb might have fallen right next to them or a whole orchestra of violins might have started playing; Severus would not have noticed anything except the million stars that had exploded in his head and all through his body. He was tingling all over with warmth and pleasure; every small inch of his body was aching to feel her, to pull her close, to devour her. Instead, he kept the kiss very soft at first, allowing his lips to brush against hers – _God_, her lips were so soft. He pulled back slightly to allow her a chance to regret.

Lily opened her dizzy eyes and smiled at him, a little mischievously. She hadn't smiled at him like that in over a year. "I don't think that was a real kiss, Sev," she teased.

And before he knew how it had happened, he had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on his lap; she shifted herself on his lap and gasped a little as she felt his erection, but he pressed his lips hard and hungrily against hers before she could say anything else, burying his hands in her hair.

Lily moaned slightly, and at last she was kissing him back. Her lips parted for him, and Severus did what he had been dreaming of doing for so long and slid his tongue into her mouth; there was nothing in the world to beat that feeling, nothing at all. This was _heaven_. It was _amazing_. Her tongue met his and struggled for a moment, then slowly it was a more caressing touch.

One of his hands went down from her hair to her waist, all the while his whole body shivering with delight, and his other hand trailed down to touch her cheek. He brushed his fingers against her cheek as their kiss deepened even more. Yes, heaven could not possibly hold greater pleaures than this...

Then Lily broke the kiss, panting slightly, and Severus took the chance and kissed her around her mouth and then along her jawline; he then allowed himself to lower his head slightly and kiss her neck.

"I – " Lily murmured.

"Shh," Severus whispered, and with a tremendous effort, he stopped. His whole body screamed with protest; every bit of him wanted to continue what he was doing, to go further, to never stop. But he took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and got to his feet.

"Come on," he said softly. "I'll walk you to the Gryffindor tower. You're exhausted and you need to get some sleep."

Lily did not protest, but took his hand and walked next to him in silence all the way to the tower. Five minutes later they were standing in front of the portrait.

"So," said Severus softly.

"So," said Lily just as softly, her eyes lingering on his, foggy and yet smiling. "I had a good time tonight."

"Me, too," he said.

"It does feel much better... now that I've forgiven you..." she added as an afterthought. "And I also thought... it was nice... to seal it like we did."

"With a kiss?"

"Yes."

They looked at each other for another long moment and Severus knew she had to leave, right now, or he would never be able to let her go.

"It's our secret," said Lily, as though wanting to make sure.

"Yes," he agreed. _Leave me. Leave me already._

_Never walk away. Don't go._

"Well," said Lily, "I'm really tired, Sev... I'm going to bed now. Thank you for tonight."

"Thank you," he said.

She hesitated, then leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Good night, Sev."

She turned to the portrait. "Chocolate Frogs," she said, and the portrait swung open.

"Good night... Lily," he called after her, and she turned her head and smiled before she vanished inside.

---

Fifteen minutes later, after having watched Mulciber throw a fit in the common room over Sinistra punching him in the nose, Severus was climbing into bed as he remembered the remains of the Felix Felicis. He took the tiny bottle out of his pocket and examined it. A century seemed to have passed from the moment he drank it. A century, and a mere moment.

The bottle was still two-thirds full. He could still use it for something else.

But no. Severus knew he would never, ever use this potion again. He had gotten his wish, and nothing could grant him any more than he had received tonight. Lily had forgiven him and kissed him; it was even her first kiss; she would not remember anything in the morning, and this too was for the best – she would not be mad at him for taking advantage of her drunkness.

She would end up with James Potter, he knew it. And she would be happy. But this night's memory would never have to go away.

He had _kissed Lily Evans_. He had actually and truly been Lily's first kiss...

He threw the bottle to the floor and stomped on it. The tiny bottle broke into even tinier pieces of glass and the golden liquid was spilled on the floor. Then he drew out his wand out and muttered, "Evanesco." The liquid and the remains of the bottle evaporated.

Severus couldn't care less. There was nothing more this potion could give him. He dropped himself onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, smiling broadly at last; he was indeed lucky after all. In fact, right now he felt like the luckiest person in the world.

**The End.**

---

And now, my favorite quote of The Prince's Tale:

"_But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"_

"_For _him_?" shouted Snape. "_Expecto Patronum!_"_

_From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: she landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears._

"_After all this time?"_

"_Always," said Snape._


End file.
